


Rose Quartz

by Incuria



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, I don't know why I like writing about them all being sad., Mentions of the Gems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4548765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Incuria/pseuds/Incuria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven and Connie have a conversation about the Gems and Steven's guilt over them not having Rose as their leader anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rose Quartz

            Steven and Connie lay on the top of the hill, sprawled out on their backs in grass and sun, watching clouds roll through the blue sky. They’d covered all their usual topics, the latest episode of Under the Knife, Connie’s tennis lessons, and had circled back around to the Gems. Their conversation had started out carefree and light but at some point it had taken a turn and as bad as Steven felt for all he was laying on his friend he can’t just let this all sit in him and continue to fester.

            “You always seem so happy when you help them with a mission…” Connie says, tone low and oddly tight, like she’s walking on eggshells just to come up with some sort of response. She hasn’t looked at Steven in nearly a half hour, like the simple act of looking at him while he’s in such an emotional state would be too much of an intimacy.

            “I do. I am. But that’s different. I like helping them, I like doing gem magic stuff and hanging out, but…” he trails off and Connie nearly turns her head, look at him and gauge the situation; but she’s not sure what sort of face he’s making, or if he wants her to see him like that, so she watches a cloud shaped like a cat drift by.

            “But?” she prompts gently.

            “You have to remember… Gems live for thousands of years. They don’t die unless someone makes them. There was this person in their life who was never supposed to go away… My mom… She wasn’t going to get old and pass away or get sick… Maybe there was a possibility during their war, but that was _over_. The dangerous part was over and done with and they were all living happily together then suddenly my dad comes along… And she…” he pauses again and Connie can hear blades of grass snapping softly as if he’s clenched his whole fist in the ground and pulled. When he speaks again his voice is smaller, softer, like he’s afraid to even be vocalizing these thoughts. “You’ve seen the way Pearl talks about her… and Amethyst too. They weren’t ready for her to leave. They weren’t a team when she gave up her form for me, and they didn’t learn to be one after she was gone.”

            “Steven… That’s not your fault,” she says softly, knowing it’s a poor consolation. She wants to tell him he’s wrong, but from what she’s heard and seen for herself, it’s a fair statement.

            “That’s the problem, it sort of is. I’m one person, and I feel like one person, I’m Steven. But my mom didn’t just evaporate into nothing. She’s in here too, I’m Rose just as much as I am Steven, even if I don’t feel a distinct difference. And I think Rose left them too early and unprepared.” His voice cracks and Connie can’t stand it anymore. She reaches out, fingers finding his in the grass and pressing her fingers through the spaces between his till she’s holding his hand tight. He clutches back like she’s the last anchor in his universe. When he speaks again it’s with a voice full of tears.

            “…What if the times I feel guilty that the Gems don’t have my mom around… is her regretting becoming me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where this came from. I just kinda got bit in the ass to write it and there ya go. I feel like they're a little aged up, maybe around 13 or so? 
> 
> I hope you like it! :) 
> 
> Please review!
> 
> My tumblr: http://lillystonelove.tumblr.com/


End file.
